Archive for April, 2007

It’s nice to be home; familiar places, family and friends.

My sister graduated College and is home for good. She has a job interview today with a law firm, so good luck sis!!!!!

My best buddy Nathan gets married this Saturday to Rachel Pede.
His Bachelor party is Friday. We are starting at his parent’s house and going to the casino!!

I traveled back from Calgary this week with Jordan Parker. He was in Sarnia to visit but more so, pick up his girlfriend. Good luck to both of you guys in the future. I look forward to visiting you guys in the west for years to come.

Other notables who are home in Sarnia now are Chris Nova, Chris Smith, Alex Tsotos and Jesse Sibbald. Even Chaps has made it back for a visit.

I have to take a bus in order to get to and from the job site here in Fort McMurray. It’s actually really nice. I get time to wind down and read to and from work. Some times though you have to sit next to people if the bus gets filled up. Yesterday I found myself sitting next to a female, she was about my age and she works in the HR department.

She was in her last year of University and she was on her job placement. The conversation went well as we both have living in the east in common.
As the conversation progressed I was informed of all the great things she was doing and going to do. I then proceeded to ask her when she planned on raising a family. She said “I haven’t really thought about it, it doesn’t fit into my schedule.” Living in this generation, I wasn’t alarmed by her response but could you imagine her saying those words 50 years ago? No way!!

Is this a bad trait we have adopted in the 21st century?
Is it bad for our society to frown on or at least push back on producing a family?
Is it wrong to expect women to forget or a least postpone their carriers?
Should women even be thinking about careers?

Depending on how I was feeling I would answer differently on a day to day basis with those questions.

There has to be a healthy balance.

I’ll throw one thought out there that I am having about it. I am sure it will receive some slack but this isn’t my solid thought on the matter; more so an observation.

A lot of women I meet argue that they are treating with less respect in the work field and they feel they have just as much right as men to be in the work force. Which is fine and I support their equality but here is my concern. I, as a male, cannot in anyway produce a child. I can’t. I am unable to give birth to children. As shocking a statement as this might be, it’s in our makeup. That’s just how it is.

Would I be wrong then to say that women, who are only able to bare children, should in fact explore and pursue their God given ability?

I guess in order to ask that question you have to ask the basic question: why are we here anyway? Are we alive to make a beautiful portfolio of our works or are we creatures put here to re-produce and pro-create?

Call me old fashioned but I think a HUGE problem with our society is the way families are raised/dragged up nowadays.
With women entering the work force our kids are being raised by strangers, receiving the basics and being influenced from and by too many sources.

A woman might object “why can’t the man stay at home?” To which I can concur but statistics show that men generally make more in the relationship and it’s a known fact that men don’t have to take time off work to give birth.
Maybe there is a reason only women can give birth. They are and should be the nurturer and care takers of our children.

This short film was made while I was in high school.
It won “best short film” from CBC.

Its pretty racie and may offend some. But I find it to be SO VERY humorous. Its about a guy telling a story about how black people hate him and his glasses.

So GOOD! Enjoy!

This was probably the best movie I have ever seen about breaking up. It stars two characters. Trent (Vince Vaughn) and Mike (Jon Favreau), the movie was shot just as Vince Vaughn was making a name for himself in the early 90’s.

Trent, as you can guess is a big player. He’s shallow towards women and only has a few uses for them. He uses lines like “Baby, your so money and you don’t even know it, money baby, with your big teeth and your claws… shes like a little bunny… you know, your money.”

Then there is Mike. His life has just been turned up side down after losing his girlfriend of 6 years. He’s quiet, not smooth, enjoys deep conversation and relationships.

I can’t help but to relate with both of these characters. I feel like the two characters is me having a conversation with myself. On one side, the hustling pimp who just wants to have fun, no strings attached and the other side who is more quiet, reserved and looks down on the sort of thing.

The movie is a battle over both sides and view points but I did notice how good the friends were to each other; very supportive and real. Trent wants to help Mike out of his misery by doing what he knows best – pimpin. I think he helps Mike the most though by listening to him, giving him slack, courage and being honest and straight with him.

At one point when Mike is really down on himself, Trent steps up with this line. “Baby, your miserable because you don’t look at the things you have, you look at things you don’t have and baby, you got a lot going for yah, you’re a star, were stars, we’ve made it and your miserable. Wake up baby, your so money.”

Best opening credits to a movie…

Mike: So I should pretend to get over her and then when she comes back, forget pretending about forgetting about her….

Trent: Right….but only the opposite. You need to pretend to forget about her until you finally do forget about her.

Mike: But what about pretending until she comes back?

Trent: That’s the thing; they don’t come back until you have truly forgotten.

Mike: Right.

This is the only time of the year you will see me watching a TV and religiously watching it.

Its playoff time and my favorite team (The Raptors) are the team to watch this year.
Wouldn’t you know it though, they are up against the man that brought them to the playoffs years before; Vince Carter.

Now, for all you Raptor band wagon fans hating on Vince just because he left, I can honestly say I don’t hate him. He did a lot for the organization and I’m not a fan of the booing he receives when he plays in the Air Canada Centre. But, statistics show, that Vince is more off his game when the crowd hates on him. With that being said – yell louder!!!!

Unfortunately I wasn’t one of the lucky 20,000 people to get tickets to the playoff games. But you can be damn sure I will be cheering them on form the comforts of my living room.

I emailed Chuck (the announcer for the Raptors) to see if he could mail me and Dave some “Salami and Cheese” t-shirts. How awesome would that be to wear those bad boys as the Raps knock Vince and the Nets out in 5.

Cho Seung-Hui pulled back on his legally purchased clock 9 pistol and ended the lives of 33 people including himself.

Before the bodies can even be identified we’re all screaming “where do we point our finger?”

He’s South Korean right? Oh no, this wont be good for any immigrant living in America. The latest talk is that he wrote two sick and twisted plays for his class project. Certainly this is the tailings of a suspected “school shooter.” I am sure the usual source of suspects will come into play. Horrific video game violence, TV, Marilyn Manson …. the list will continue.

So back to the fingers; Cho left a note in his dorm in which he railed against “rich kids,” “debauchery” and “deceitful impostors” on the Virginia Tech campus.

Let’s look at the character of Cho. He was a small, skinny, quiet, immigrant looking person so I think I can be safe to assume he was a loner (as the reports tell us). In fact, it is said that he never talked to anyone. He was the “question mark” kid.

So you have a middle class loner attending a school, living in a world that urges you to be better, more than you are and to be someone else. Society is pointing fingers looking for a radical group to blame but I must think, isn’t our societies perception on life that radical group?

Cho committed a horrific crime and cowardly took his life. There is never any room for people to take others lives. Never. Yet, the media is jumping all over this with guns blazing wanting to know who is the blame for the outrage. Thank goodness Cho wasn’t an illegal alien, Iraqi or Iranian.

Out of all the millions of people living in America, a few lose hope, lose passion and get twisted in the midst. When these people act out its outcome usually isn’t good and we need something to blame to make the situation make sense. How can someone ever really make sense of it? I don’t think we will ever truly know what made him tick.

Maybe the simple truth is he was a depressed lonely person who had a chip on his shoulder. Maybe the demons that possessed him to do what he did and act out are the same demons that possess us all on a daily basis.

Hate, greed, jealousy, lust, anger, loneliness. How do you point fingers at those things?

Life consists of having a purpose or finding one.
Life = Purpose.

So you live in this life. You occupy a body that some say consists of a soul. This so called soul is occupying a body for a reason – purpose.

So what’s a purpose? According to some philosophies, purpose is central to a good human life. Some people say that God assigns purposes to people and that it is their mission to fulfill them. Others hold that purpose is not inherent, but instead freely chosen (or not chosen) by individuals.

Pursuing a career, raising a family, devotion to a cause or acquiring property are some of the most widespread purposes that make life meaningful according to some philosophies.

Purpose, it seems is what drives us; what makes us tick. It is the reason why we do anything.

Example: Retiring with money is a purpose some may have. If that is so, your purpose allows for you to get up in the morning, put on that suite, drive across town, sit in your cubical, work 40 hours a week and repeat.

So what about those pour souls that have no purpose or at least feel without one? What gives us purpose? Who assigns it? Why do I want one? Who wants me to have one? What happens if I do or don’t achieve it? Does anyone care?

Purpose…. What does yours make you do?

Recently I found myself in need of a truck; Friends moving out, friends moving in, stoves coming out and stoves coming in. There are two people I know who own trucks and I seem to always be maxing out my “can I borrow your truck” privileges (if these people are reading, I am really thankful).

Both of the guys in mention have been real good friends to me. I would go as far to give them the titles of mentor. I called one of them today once again to borrow his truck. I felt a bit squeamish asking for it as I don’t usually like to borrow things or ask for assistance (unless it’s a truck – ha). His reply to my request was astounding.

Ron: “I was hoping to borrow your truck today to grab a stove at lunch” (insert my lengthy reason on why I need it here).
Mentor: “Sure Ron, no problem, I will leave the keys at the door for you.”
Ron: “Well thanks man, I feel really bad about borrowing it all the time”
Mentor: “It’s not a problem at all Ron. Remember, what’s mine is yours”

Isn’t that an awesome statement? “What’s mine is yours.” That speaks volumes to me on so many levels.
First and foremost – trust.

Trust.

My friend trusts me enough to say “I don’t mind lending things to you because I am really not lending it, we are sharing it.”

Could you imagine if more and more people adopted this mentality? I am sure you could think of a million reasons why not to share your things but if you could look past all of that and just trust.

I think it’s the little things like this that build communities. It has to be, what else can a community aspire to if there is no trust?

In other news, my buddy Reg was asking me to write a blog on my thoughts on Easter. Reg is one of my biggest blog fans and reads daily.
He said this to me today: “im sure The Big Guy checks the site every so often…He must get crazy bandwidth up there”

Just when you feel like no one can relate with you or that you can’t relate with those who have lost someone. I am sure there are countless books on how to recognize, deal with, move through and complete the stages.

1-Denial
“This can’t be happening to me”, looking for the former person in familiar places, or if it is death, setting the table for the person or acting as if they are still in living there. No crying. Not accepting or even acknowledging the loss.

2-Anger
“Why me?” Feelings of wanting to fight back or get even with spouse of the divorce or breakup. For death the person has anger at the deceased, blaming them for leaving.

3-Bargaining
Bargaining often takes place before the loss. Attempting to make deals with the spouse who is leaving, or attempting to make deals with God to stop or change the loss. Begging, wishing and
praying for them to come back.

4-Depression
Overwhelming feelings of hopelessness, frustration, bitterness, self pity, mourning loss of person as well as the hopes, dreams and plans for the future. Feeling lack of control, feeling numb, perhaps even feeling suicidal.

5-Acceptance
There is a difference between resignation and acceptance. You have to accept the loss, not just try to bear it quietly. Realization that it takes two to make or break a marriage or relationship. Realization that the person is gone.

In death, knowing that it is not their fault, they didn’t leave you on purpose. (even in cases of suicide, often the deceased person, was not in their right frame of mind)
Finding the good that can come out of the pain of loss, finding comfort and healing. Our goals turn toward personal growth. Stay with fond memories of person.