Most guys know about the nice guy paradox. It’s where they’ve been told since they were young — both by women and by society in general — that women like “nice” guys. So why is it I have so many friends confess to me and say “I was being nice and she wasn’t having it.” It is something that has always made my head spin.

Losing as the “nice guy” bothers men, A lot. Why would women claim to want someone who will treat them nice, but then repeatedly turn down or mistreat those that give them exactly what they want? Well… I have observed and I have tested by being both the nice guy and the jerk. My conclusion is that women like when guys are nice to them, but only when they don’t have to be.

Think about that for a minute (and re-read my statement). Most guys who exclusively use the “nice” approach are doormats, and many are so because that’s all they can be. They lack the attributes to attract a woman based on pure gravity. Gravitational pulls would be things like physical size/strength/prowess, ambition, sexuality, intelligence, money, etc.. As a result of not having these “pulls,” these guys are essentially forced to grovel to attract a mate, which is clearly unattractive.

Quite simply, women like powerful men to be nice to them, not feminized boys. A weak man being nice to a woman is essentially an act of submission, like if a beggar tipped his hat and called you sir. Sure, the homeless guy was respectful to you but they just asked you for money two seconds prior so it’s not as meaningful as if it came from a peer, superior or person in power.

Not a powerful man? I would say the first step in becoming one being ok with rejection. If being rejected doesn’t faze a man, he can be his own man, be confident in himself and then he can wait for the right woman to come along. The only problem with this though is that the way society defines the confident/powerful male these days is by being a total asshole. A confident male is seen as one that goes to the bar to pick up and is told that one night stands are an act of “confidence.”

My advice to guys is “don’t buy into the stereotypical confident man crap.” If you want to approach a woman, do so in a section of interest like at a book store, coffee house; take a class of some sort (art, athletic, music), volunteer your time (that’s probably bonus points), etc. Being confident isn’t about standing out at the bar. Chances are, most women can see through that and if you do snag a lady at the bar – she probably isn’t date material.

Lets face it; we are competitive beings. From your first game of row-shame-bow, paper-rock-scissors (and bomb for your real competitive folk) and other relaxing sports such as 2 pitch.

This weekend was the first time back to competitive sport in a long time for me. And what better way to get my temper flaring than 2 pitch. Yes, that’s right, 2 pitch: the only sport where un-athletic people are almost on par with the athletic folk. The only sport where the un-fit can rule the day; it’s a great game.

Now, in all the commotion of drinking beer, having social time, drinking beer, mocking your friends when they drop the ball and trying to hit home rooms; there is this underlying sense of competition that brings us right back to our rock-paper-scissor glory days.

The older I get, the more I notice that my sense of competition has not dwindled and if anything, is still dwelling quite significantly in me. The question I now ask is “how competitive?”

Am I so competitive that I would be willing to bench those in a charity tournament in order to have one more “decent” player out in the field?

The competitive side says “hell yah” but when you look the situation from a far – the tournament isn’t a big deal, we are all friends, this is a social event and we couldn’t win even if there were 10 of me (which wouldn’t give us an advantage by any means).

When does competition become a bad thing? Was it ever a good thing? Some people have said “it becomes bad when people get hurt either physically or emotionally” which I don’t agree with because I have been on the losing side before (alright, most of the time) and it hurts.

I think it’s safe to say that when ever you get any type of match-up in any sport, no matter how “casual” it is, there will always be that underlining sense of competition.

This summer has been very rough on my digestive system. I have been eating poorly to say the least. The amount of beef I have consumed is off the charts and as a result, bowl movements have become an interesting topic in my life.

When sharing this information with my friend Adrienne, she suggested that I try “cleansing” my body.

I went to my good friend Steph, (who I might add is an awesome nutritionist and yoga teacher and is wife to emergent theorist principal Dave H.W) She said I should try a vegetable and fruit cleanse. She also mentioned some crap about my liver and beer but what does she know?

So me being me and always loving a challenge, I thought I would try out this vegetable and fruit thing (also known as being a vegetarian).

Now, this is going to be SO HARD since I eat meat on a regular, daily basis and spend the other portion mocking those who refrain from meat.

Here goes nothing.
Cheers.

Comparisons between Criminals and Millionaires

The similarity between Bill Gates, Paul McCartney, and criminals—in fact, among all men throughout evolutionary history—points to an important concept in evolutionary biology: female choice.
Women often say no to men. Men have had to conquer foreign lands, win battles and wars, compose symphonies, author books, write sonnets, paint cathedral ceilings, make scientific discoveries, play in rock bands, and write new computer software in order to impress women so that they will agree to have sex with them. Men have built (and destroyed) civilization in order to impress women, so that they might say yes.

The midlife crisis is a myth—sort of

Many believe that men go through a midlife crisis when they are in middle age. Not quite. Many middle-aged men do go through midlife crises, but it’s not because they are middle-aged. It’s because their wives are. From the evolutionary psychological perspective, a man’s midlife crisis is precipitated by his wife’s imminent menopause and end of her reproductive career, and thus his renewed need to attract younger women. Accordingly, a 50-year-old man married to a 25-year-old woman would not go through a midlife crisis, while a 25-year-old man married to a 50-year-old woman would, just like a more typical 50-year-old man married to a 50-year-old woman. It’s not his midlife that matters; it’s hers. When he buys a shiny-red sports car, he’s not trying to regain his youth; he’s trying to attract young women to replace his menopausal wife by trumpeting his flash and cash.

Men DON’T just sexually harass women

Sexual harassment cases of the hostile-environment variety result from sex differences in what men and women perceive as “overly sexual” or “hostile” behavior. Many women legitimately complain that they have been subjected to abusive, intimidating, and degrading treatment by their male coworkers. Browne points out that long before women entered the labor force, men subjected each other to such abusive, intimidating, and degrading treatment.
Abuse, intimidation, and degradation are all part of men’s repertoire of tactics employed in competitive situations. In other words, men are not treating women differently from men—the definition of discrimination, under which sexual harassment legally falls—but the opposite: Men harass women precisely because they are not discriminating between men and women.

Money makes it happen. It fixes your hunger, your entertainment, your boredom, your shelter and your clothing. It’s a pretty remarkable thing. The people who have it make more of it and those that don’t wish they did.

People kill, steal, lie & cheat to achieve it. People push themselves the extra mile or stay at the office later. People need/want/desire it.

Me…. I need to stop spending it. I have lived the last two years of my life on my credit cards. Not that they are maxed out but I place a good portion of pay on my credit cards and live off them. It has helped my credit rating (because everyone tells you that is so important….) but is hasn’t taught me any discipline.
If I run out of money I use my credit card I don’t think twice. I don’t save, I don’t juggle money and I don’t wait. When I want something; I never go without.

I have to learn to say no. I have to learn to say “I can’t afford that,” I have to learn that money doesn’t grow on credit cards.
So last night at the Toshs I pulled out the credit cards and took the scissors to them. $6000 of potential spending now gone.

Today at lunch I had to check my account online to see if I could go out; Sweet, just enough for lunch.

Thank goodness it’s a payday tomorrow!!!