I am starting to see more and more the two paths people live by when it comes to the prospect of being in a serious, loving relationship with someone. The first type is a person who is comfortable in their skin being single. They don’t approach the single life as a hindrance nor see themselves as lacking, needing or the odd person out. If a relationship presents itself to that person it is seen as a bonus, adding to their already functioning life.

The other people are those who crave a relationship. They yearn and seek out to such an extreme that they tend to make an unwise choice that most likely will lead to sadness, dissatisfaction and ultimately, a broken heart. I would say that the majority of the adult single population fit into this way of thinking. Desiring a loving, nurturing and safe relationship, they do it: they settle.

Settling is entering into a relationship with a less than desirable mate for the sake of escaping the single life. Fed up with breakups and longing for a stable mate, I would imagine when one “settles” that the “nice” feeling of being with that new person only exists due to the relief of escaping the single life. Being caught up in the swirl of desperately trying to find “the one” and the constant ticking of that annoying inner clock reminding people that they are getting older by the moment, can cause this to happen I am sure.

So why settle? Well, I think it has SO much to do with how we are all “programmed” to view our life in accordance with relationships. We are raised to believe that the ideal life is one in which we fall in love, marry, have children, go on vacation, grow a family, retire and grow old. This ideology is instilled in us from day one.

As we enter the dating game we are weaving our way through relationships, trying to decipher what type of person best fits our needs to sustain this healthy and loving relationship as described above. If a person does not find this truly compatible mate, they will most likely opt to………… settle.

Settling may bring temporary happiness, however the key word is temporary. When a person is in a relationship that is not the ideal one for them, they are choosing to close off the option of finding true love. This is not fair to either person in the relationship. I like to believe that we all desire love, having someone to care for us above all else, the feeling of being safe and secure in the arms of another. I don’t think setting produces those results.

Remaining single and waiting to meet someone that will provide you with a truly loving relationship is wise. Be pleased that you are abiding to your standards. Falsely believing that continuing to remain single is such a dreadful choice, and settling is the option you choose, you will be losing the prospect of truly enjoying your life bonded with someone you undoubtedly love.

What if finding true love isn’t what you desire and actually isn’t the goal.
Can people settle and actually mean to do so? Are some people’s expectations set to high and by trying to reach their target cause their issue of singleness? Are people who settle more realistic? Can one argue that settling is better than being alone?

We live in a world of instant gratification. Everything is geared towards you, making you happy and advancing you further. It’s easy to see then not only is this a self centered driven culture, it’s actually encouraged.

In life you are told over and over “you only have one life to live, you might as well do what makes you happy” and a lot of people are attempting just that. It appears though that making oneself happy and being concerned only about oneself are seen as the same.

It would make sense then why there is so much focus on “you.” The trouble and pitfall it appears is that we actually think we can fill this void of “happiness” as if there were a meter to indicate “total happiness.” I haven’t yet met a person who said to me “I’m full on happy, I can’t possibly have another slice.”

The pursuit of happiness is an endless race; never ending and always evolving. There is no satisfaction. People can be happier for a period of time but the need for happiness is always lurking close by. As soon as we accomplish something that makes us happy (food, sex, tv, sports, sleeping) we soon feel lacking and want the exact thing soon there after.

Knowing then that we will never fill this void of happiness says to me how important it should be when attempting to figure out what it is that actually makes us happy. Furthermore how dangerous it can be if we pick things that are destructive to us.

If we can take a minute and admit “I am a selfish person” and really understand that, it will probably help you see what you spend your time doing for the pursuit of happiness.

The more I journey on with life the more I am realizing and becoming disgusted with the time I spend on making myself happy. It’s not that self happiness isn’t important and shouldn’t be pursued, it’s just I see how sad some of the things are that I think make me happy. If we believe that we only have one life to live, it’s sad to know I spend so much time doing rather dull and selfish things with the sparing time I have.

On a brighter note I am finding that the more time I spend with other people; investing, partaking and being of service to, I receive the same sense of happiness that fills my otherwise selfish motives.

I guess what I am trying to say here is that finding, chasing and becoming happy isn’t bad. Not at all. How we try to attempt it is the problem. I think if we took sometime out of our busy, self orientated lives and actually invested in someone else asking the question “what would make them happy” I think we would quickly come to the conclusion that serving others makes you happy as well, if not more happy; with the added bonus that you took one step away from being a narcissistic prick.

What’s so dangerous about this breeded culture of selfish happiness is that there are roles in a persons life where being selfish cannot exist. Roles like husband, wife, mother, father, etc. Obviously you can see the dilemma. If a person spends their entire life making only them self happy and then become a Dad, can you really get mad or be surprised at that person when they apply their selfish ways to their newly appointed selfless position? Its not that they don’t have the capacity to be selfless and serve in that capacity, it’s that all they know is selfishness and that is a hard habit to break.

People who got an education will defend it to the end; placing it on a pedestal and proclaiming how it is so needed. Well I got me one of those “educations.” 2 Diplomas actually and 6 years later and I can tell you that it was a joke and a waste of money.

The thought of downloading information from a teacher spouting off over the course of an hour or so seems to me now absurd, lacking and a waste of time.

Firstly, with the way technology is I can download books upon books of information onto an ipod that 100 teachers talking for weeks couldn’t contend with.

Secondly, there is so much online content covering any topic that I can learn from the best. People are publishing in video at alarming rates. What better way to learn than to have a video that you can stop, reply and watch at anytime with the convenience you need.

The profession of teaching where it currently stands is dated and is in need of a MAJOR upgrade.
Education isn’t about memorization in this world. It’s about organizing, prioritizing and searching for the right information.

I work in the information technology field. Daily I run into problems that didn’t exist when I went to school. Where do I turn to? The on-line blogging community. People need to start embracing the internet as the best source of information.

Where I would like to see Teaching go:

I want to see teachers as people who inspire people of any age to think differently and encourage creativity.
I am not saying that teaching don’t do this as I met quite a few teachers who spoke greatly into my life.

In the Colleges and Universities there needs to be WAY more emphases on working hands on in the field. Becoming a Lawyer? Schools should be teaming up with active lawyers, letting them assist them in cases and really learning the field.

Schools need to start specializing, even at the high school level. I don’t need to sit in high school until 19 memorizing the periodic table and doing some lame math (over and over again).
Math needs to be practical. Let’s take this math question and apply it to a real life situation. Lets focus more in technology.

I went to my old high school a little while ago thinking I would see rooms more and more converted over to computer rooms. NO. They were closing them down. There were actually less there. I couldn’t believe it.

Black Eyed Peas have officially created the worst song ever.

People in America are finally quitting smoking. But what about the rest of the world?

And here is why the Lotto is really bad….

How many missiles/nukes does the worls have anyway? This article goes into detail.

14 Basic skills every man should know.

Is manual labour making a come back? This article says yes.

A diagram why cheap airlines are….. cheap.

How Power ruin powerful men.

Best Advice rich people ever received.

I just sent this to the Oberver for: Letters to the Editor.

Is it just me or are bouncers taking queues from the movie “Road House” with their teacher being Patrick Swayze?

The industry term bouncer presents an image of someone who will physically break up fights and forcibly eject undesirable patrons. Bouncers are often portrayed in movies as tough, thug-like scrappers who love to fight and it appears Sarnia has employed and embodied that persona.

There’s a common misconception that bouncers have authority to pick someone up and physically remove him or her from the premises for violating a club rule. It is believed that bouncers can use pain compliance holds, full-nelsons, choke holds, wrist locks, and arm bars to manhandle their patrons. This is generally not true. Simply stated bouncers cannot legally use force against unless they are taking someone into custody for a crime or in self-defense. When force is used it must be reasonable. That means no tackling, no punching, no kicking, no choking, no head butts, no piling on top, no hog-ties, and no pain compliance holds.

The authority of a bouncer, in most cases, is the same as any ordinary citizen. Bouncers have no special authority to physically eject a customer who merely becomes intoxicated or verbally obnoxious. As an employee of the nightclub, bouncers can only demand that the undesirable customer leave. If the customer refuses to leave your only legal recourse is to call the police.

“Back in the Day” when I bounced we were trained by a black belted marshal-artist who stressed the importance of self control, restraint and diffusion of aggressive situations.  Now I feel as though Friday and Saturday nights have become UFC episodes with the bar transforming into the octagon.

I stopped bouncing a few years back as I thought it was getting out of hand.  Bouncers began encouraging and gestured collusion.  Planned attacks were sometimes carried out to remove “ex-boyfriends” and other personal vendettas.  Very sad.

I understand there are drunks that get out of hand and require “removing.”  A bouncer does encounter undesirable situations however when did decency, restraint and professionalism get discarded?  Who are bouncing the bouncers?

Facebook is an entertaining place to show “good nights out” and more and more you are seeing pictures of 4 on 1 bouncer brutality; even pictures of 100 pound women being placed in the “chicken wing” by monstrous men.

There are a lot of good, honest bouncers out there performing a good deed.  It’s a shame that they appear to be a dieing breed.

I write this out of concern.  Brutality doesn’t diffuse anything; it only acts as a catalyst for more brutality.  If not a bouncer injuring/killing a patron; then a patron in retaliation injuring/killing a bouncer.

Take your pick.   

Amazing pictures of the fight occurring in Iran over the previous elections

The question of asking if being gay or not is challenged as the wrong question to ask in the first place.

The worlds weirdest Hang over cures

Dads aches are up for sale on e-bay

A message to all you vegans out there.

A cure for HIV. No joke – and it came from Canada!!!!!!

Awesome new documentary: Food Inc
Talks in great length about corporations and food. A must see!!!

Are you feeling the crunch of credit card debt?

If so, there is this awesome blog (www.mint.com) that gives you the basics and a crash course on how to deal with your credit card company and to have your rates slashed/erased or re-negotiated.

The more and more I talk to people about their debt and financial skeletons the more I see people never having the conversation. They would rather forget they are in debt and stick their head in the sand!! Don’t do that people!!!!!!!!!

Address your debt, talk to someone and get on a game plan. The below link is a great starting place.

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Cheers
Ron

The idea that we live in a society that takes care of our poor and less fortunate while on the surface makes us proud and feel save; it is in fact a huge hinder on our society.

1: Welfare helps you keep your hand out.

If I were to give you $600 a month with no strings attached (ok, make a resume and “hand” it out). And then I said to you “if you go back to school to further yourself not only will I not give you money to attend I will also take your $600 away. Also, if you acquire a job (even part time) your $600 is now gone.”

What would you do?

Quick Math: $600 / 60 hours a month (part time) = $10 /hr.
Quick Math: 1 year of college (avg) $2500.

2: The “unmotivated and live on little to nothing” population:

There are a lot of people out there that don’t mind hand outs and since we as a society are always made to feel guilty about having anything we are more than happy to “give to the needy.”
If you are willing to get by on old furniture, lack of nutritious food, Inn of the Good Shepherd hand outs, bus passes, tube television and basic cable then welfare is the prefect job for you.

3: Immigrants are high rollers:

Please keep in mind I am not generalizing here. I am an immigrant myself.
Go to google and type “percentage of immigrants on welfare.” The results are staggering.

The welfare system is like a gold mind for someone who is from a third world country.
It’s tragic that living conditions are dire in their part of the world however the dream of moving to North America and living on the system is very appealing when you sit around hundreds of thousands of people that cant even afford to take a decent shower, crap, sanitize.

These are just few of many thoughts on why I don’t like the welfare system.
Do I agree that there should be something put in place to safe guard being homeless and having a roof over your head; of course I do. I just don’t think the answer is throwing $600 a month at a person down on their luck is the answer.

I would love to have a debate about how to approach it. I am not saying that all people on welfare are lazy. What I am saying is that once you receive welfare there isn’t much incentive to get off it and once you get used to receiving a rationed amount, living off the system becomes more appeasable and affordable.

What frustrates me about issues regarding the system are people who have a nice cushy job utter things like “why cant they just get a job?” Oh I wish it were just that easy.
I think a huge assistance to helping the poor is for people that aren’t to develop compassion. Far too often you find people with money telling those without money they are useless.

This isn’t helping anyone. Middle class people need to be educated more on the matter.